Straight
by SaturnOolaa
Summary: Kyon knows he likes girls. But things have gotten complicated. Kyon/Koizumi, sequel to "Maybe Someday."


Disc: Not mine.  
AN: This story was written not so much because "Maybe Someday" actually requires a sequel, but because I wanted it to have one. Therefore this fic is sort of wish fufillment on my part and hopefully the part of at least one other person. Considering my motivation, though, I think it turned out okay.

STRAIGHT

Ever since he can remember, Kyon has liked girls. All kinds of girls. He's never been a playboy or a skirt-chaser or anything, he just feels... comfortable around them. It's not like he never makes friends with guys, but there's this extra bit of distance there - some kind of ego thing, maybe - that never seems to be a problem with girls. Most of his best friends have been girls: first there was Sasaki, and later Haruhi, and Yuki. And Mikuru, too.

Of course, he's never had a girlfriend. He could blame Haruhi for that, but it's his own fault. He was the one who could never stand the thought of telling her he was going out with someone.

But it's not like he's been celibate. Since graduating from North High he's had sex with a few girls, sometimes more than once, although always in circumstances too casual to call relationships. That's been nice. And even outside of his, well, sex friends, he's gotten to know a lot of girls at Toudai that he just enjoys talking to.

Clearly he likes girls regardless of whether or not he's attracted to them. But he is attracted to them, a lot.

He knows there are guys who claim to be straight but are really in denial about their sexuality. But that type of guy - and Kyon suspects he's known a couple - tends to take things to the extreme. Like, they'll go on and on about banging hot chicks and how much they hate fags, etcetera. He's never done that. He's got nothing to prove. And wouldn't he suspect, somewhere deep down, if he was secretly gay?

So he's pretty sure he's straight.

Except that "pretty sure" is getting less and less sure every day. Because last month he had sex with a guy, and he liked it. Considering how weird the circumstances were, he liked it so much it's kind of scary. And that guy is currently living with him, in an apartment so small there's really nowhere to go to get changed, and the sight of his naked body is making Kyon think all sorts of incredibly stupid things. And the only reason he's still living there is because Kyon kissed him and implied that maybe eventually something else would happen between them.

It's true that their relationship has basically returned to normal now. Koizumi is as inscrutiable as he ever was, philosophical and lightly sarcastic by turns. And although he has opened up more, a lot of that could be attributed to friendship by someone looking in at them from the outside.

The thing is, there are barely any incidences of Closed Space to deal with, so Koizumi goes to the Agency less and less often. And Kyon's broken up with all his sex friends, tactfully but without a word of explaination. So every night, they come home to see each other.

They don't do anything important. Sometimes they don't even talk. They just watch TV, or do homework, or play board games. But when their eyes meet over the board, Kyon gets the feeling that their high school days are a universe away.

More and more often Kyon feels like he's walking a mental tightrope. He knows he's going to fall off, and he's pretty sure which side he'll land on. But if he can keep balancing long enough, maybe the fall won't be so bad. Maybe he just needs a little more time.

***

"So my sister wants to know if she can come visit."

They're walking back from having lunch together at the cafeteria. Koizumi looks a little bit distant, and Kyon wonders if he's going to have to repeat himself, but he looks over and smiles. "She must be feeling lonely since you left home."

"It's not just me. She misses everyone." Kyon shrugs. "But I think she's making some friends her own age, now that she's not playing with us all the time, so maybe it's for the best."

"That's very likely." Koizumi gets a far-away look in his eyes. "I remember feeling lonely when my brother left home, too."

Since last month, occasionally Koizumi says something that gives Kyon pause. For instance, he now knows that Koizumi's parents are divorced, that he has an older brother, that he lived in Okinawa for a couple of years as a young child. They're just little things, but they're passing glimpses at personal information that Koizumi would never have been privy to before. He's not sure how he's supposed to feel about this, but he finds himself oddly grateful.

"You made new friends, I guess."

"I suppose so. But for your sister's sake, I hope her friends don't come with the obligations that mine did." The way he says it is rather patronizing, and would have driven Kyon up the wall in high school. It's less annoying now, or possibly he's just become less annoyed by it.

"Well, let me know when you're free. She can come see the apartment, and then we'll take her to an amusement park or something. Okay?"

Koizumi pauses for a moment. Then he nods.

For a second Kyon wonders if he should take Koizumi's hand. It seems as good a time to do it as any: a Saturday with his little sister in tow can't properly be called a date, but it feels like it may as well be, and the gesture would be a way of driving the point home. Tentatively he reaches out, and then he's taken a second too long and the decision is out of his hands.

"Ah, it's Kyon!"

Her name is Miki or Miku or something. Cute face, big breasts. She's in one of Yuki and Haruhi's classes, and sometimes they hang out together. Kyon doesn't know her very well, but she comes up to him like they're best friends or something, cutting neatly between him and Koizumi as though she had always been there.

"Hi."

"Hi! It *is* Kyon, right? You're Suzumiya-san's friend? A bunch of us are getting together tonight at this pub in Shinjuku." She names a place Kyon hasn't been too but has heard is pretty good. "Are you free?"

"What, like, a mixer?"

"No, no, nothing like that. Just to hang out. Suzumiya-san and Nagato-san both said they might come, so..."

"Yuki? Really?"

Miki or Miku grins. "I know, right? I thought for sure she'd say no thanks, but Suzumiya-san told her she had to get out of the house, and she was like, 'yes, ma'am-'" - this with an overly-robotic impersonation of Yuki. "Anyway. It'll be fun! You should come."

"I don't know. I have a lot of schoolwork right now." He hasn't seen Haruhi and Yuki in a couple of days, but it's not like he can't hang out with them without a crowd. "I'll think about it, I guess."

"Awesome! Oh, do you want to come too?" And she turns to Koizumi, who has been standing off to the side slightly.

There's this expression Koizumi gets on his face sometimes when Kyon talks to girls. Not girls like Haruhi or Yuki or Tsuruya - they're all friends, so Koizumi is going to be part of the conversation, and it's an entirely different thing. But sometimes a classmate or someone Kyon met at a party will come up to him while he's hanging out with Koizumi, like this girl has, and they'll start chatting, and Koizumi will just watch them with this strange, awkward half-smile.

Kyon knows he doesn't do it on purpose. At first he wondered if it was jealousy, but now he doesn't think it's that, really. It's more like somewhere, deep inside, Koizumi is telling himself: I told you so. And it nearly kills him.

"I suppose so."

"Wonderful!" She actually claps her hands, like a happy grade-schooler. "The more the merrier, right?" And then she's off, probably to find some more guests.

Koizumi watches her walk away. "I think she's friends with Haruhi." says Kyon, figuring he may as well explain. "I forget her name."

"I was just thinking," says Koizumi, "that she looks a little like Asahina-san."

"Really?" Actually, Kyon agrees. But he's pretty sure Koizumi will get the wrong idea if he says so. "I don't see it," he says, instead, and changes the subject immediately. The hand-holding will have to wait for another opportunity. He's not sure anymore if that's a relief or a disappointment.

***

Kyon doesn't actually plan to do. Koizumi doesn't say anything more about it; Kyon assumes he's not interested, and the thought of going without him doesn't cross his mind. In fact, he's about to suggest to Koizumi that they rent a movie or something when Koizumi turns to him first and says, "There's a train in ten minutes. Shall we?"

To his relief and partial surprise, Miki or Miku was being honest - it really isn't like a mixer at all. He recognizes a few guys who he knows already have girlfriends. And Yuki really is there, sitting beside Haruhi, solemnly holding what looks like a sochu highball. When he sees her he nearly bursts out laughing.

"Kyon!" calls Haruhi brightly. She's wearing a black cardigan that is a little too tight across her breasts, and Kyon thinks she must have borrowed it from Yuki. That makes him happy, although he couldn't say exactly why. "Over here!"

"Yeah, okay!" he calls back, and joins them at the table.

They talk a little bit about school. Haruhi has an exam coming up, but she's not concerned - "I don't understand why everyone's making such a big deal," she says, waving her hand dismissively. Her real preoccupation at the moment is the trip to Copenhagen she plans to make next year.

It amazes Kyon sometimes how long it took him to notice that Haruhi has changed. Not her core personality: she's still bossy and arrogant, and her idea of fun still doesn't mesh with his in the slightest. But her world has opened up somewhat. She's interested in other people, now, even if they aren't aliens or time travellers or Espers. The Haruhi he knew in high school would never have even considered going to a mixer.

No wonder Closed Spaces are disappearing, he thinks, watching her laugh at a particularly stupid remark from across the table. Haruhi is still frustrated by reality at times, but she's learned to find value in it, too.

Yuki's gaze shifts to something behind him, and he turns around discreetly to see Koizumi coming over. "I'm going for another drink," he says, and leaves the table. They try not to let Haruhi see them together in public. Without really talking about it, it was decided that nobody would challenge her assumption that he and Koizumi are, well, newlyweds, and she's formed a habit of asking them questions that are just awkward for everyone.

On the way to the bar he bumps into Miki or Miku. She's dressed to the nines tonight, mixer or no. When she sees Kyon her face lights up. "Oh, hey! Glad you made it! Having fun?"

"Yeah. Thanks for inviting us."

"I saw you over there, with Suzumiya-san." Her tone of voice grows conspiratorial. "You know, there was a time when I totally thought you guys were dating. But I talked to her about it the other day and she said there was nothing going on."

Kyon shrugs. "It was complicated for a while," he replies, in what may be the understatement of the year. "But she's my best friend. That won't change."

People have made comments like this before, even going as far as to ask point-blank if he and Haruhi have broken up. It's none of their business, but he always answers ambiguously, trying to leave them with the impression that she was the one who rejected him. It's the least he can do.

He knows it's worked this time, anyhow. Miki or Miku's eyes soften. "I know how that is. It must have been tough. But... well. I'm glad that you're available."

She puts her hand on his shoulder, casually.

She only looks a little bit like Mikuru, of course, but she seems like a nice girl. Six months ago he would have responded in kind. But now he barely notices, because out of the corner of his eye he sees that Koizumi has gotten up from his table, and is talking to Yuki in hushed tones.

He hears "inconvenience," and "if necessary," and then "overnight," and his mind fills in the gaps.

"Excuse me." And without giving another thought to what's her name - or what he's doing, for that matter - Kyon strides across the room and puts his hand possesively on Koizumi's shoulder. "Sorry, Yuki," he says brusquely, "we're leaving now."

He takes Koizumi's arm and leads him briskly out of the pub, down the street and into the subway, only letting go so they can swipe their passes. He knows it's incredibly stupid, and right now he doesn't care. He has this feeling like Koizumi's going to run for it if he lets go.

The train ride home is silent. Only when they get back to the apartment does Kyon start to speak.

"Why would you have to stay over at her place!?"

"I..."

"Did you think that I was going to bring her home with me?" Kyon advances on Koizumi until he's backed up against the wall. "Have I ever done something like that?"

Koizumi averts his eyes. "I've been spending the night here more than I used to," he says. "I thought you might some privacy now and then."

"I've never..." But he has brought a girl home, once or twice, when he knew Koizumi was going to be at the Agency. He settles for: "I would never kick you out like that. You live here, too. And I'm not interested in that girl."

"I'm sorry for the misunderstanding." The expression on Koizumi's face is deceptively tranquil. "There was a time when I was quite good at predicting your reactions to events, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately you seem to have gotten more inscrutiable. Or I've lost my touch."

"If you're trying to derail the conversation, it's not going to work. Did you honestly believe that I..."

And he stops short. All of a sudden he wants to laugh. This is completely absurd. Why is he mad? There is no particular reason for Koizumi to honestly believe anything. Kyon has given him no real signal this whole month that he's been working up the courage to continue what they started. Or that he's questioning his sexuality, for that matter. By all appearences, everything returned to normal a long time ago. So Koizumi probably waited a couple of weeks, then analyzed the situation, decided that was that, and quietly gave up.

And that would be entirely his own fault. "Look, I've been meaning to tell you for a while that I've been thinking about, uh, what happened. When we met at the park. I was confused, so I didn't -" he can't seem to get the words to come out right - "well. I should have made things clearer. When I, uh-"

Koizumi shakes his head. "No, I understand. You said what you thought would work. And it did." His smile is so perfectly understanding, it feels like he's practiced it in advance. "I don't blame you for it. And you don't need to be so careful of how you behave around me - I'm not going to run away again. We're friends, right? Let's just," here he falters for a moment, "forget about it, shall we?"

This isn't working.

Time's up, thinks Kyon, and decides to take drastic action.

"That's not what I meant."

And with that, he drops to his knees in front of Koizumi, unzips his fly, and takes his cock in his mouth.

Obviously he's never sucked another man's dick before. But what he lacks in experience he can make up for in enthusiasm. Koizumi is already half-hard by the time he has his lips around the head, and when he runs his tongue around the shaft, not just his cock but his whole body goes rigid.

When he tries to fit the whole thing in his mouth, it hits the back of his throat and he has to supress his gag reflex. So he settles for sucking as much as is comfortable, wrapping his hand around the base.

"What are you...?"

Kyon pulls away, looks up. Koizumi has the weirdest look on his face: a combination of terror and arousal. He wonders if that was how he looked the night Koizumi left. He probably shouldn't find it so sexy.

"*This* is what I meant," he says, staring intently into Koizumi's eyes. "I know what I want. Look, I said I wasn't sure, but I'm sure now. I'm sorry I took so long to figure that out." And he lowers his mouth back down over Koizumi's cock.

The only weird thing about giving Koizumi head is that it doesn't feel weird at all. In fact, it's pretty hot. Koizumi's breath is coming in little gasps, and his hands clutch and unclutch in Kyon's hair as if he's trying to keep himself from pushing further into Kyon's mouth. Almost unconciously, Kyon reaches into his pants and starts jerking off.

"Do you believe me now?" he asks, lifting his head again for just a second.

Koizumi nods, shakily. He looks like he's trying to keep from whimpering. "Yes. Okay."

"Good. Then come." He takes Koizumi back into his mouth just as he follows orders and spurts all the way down Kyon's throat.

It's kind of gross, but he drinks it anyway. It's not like he hasn't tasted worse. And the look on Koizumi's face when he realizes Kyon just swallowed makes it absolutely worth it.

***

Somehow, that night, Kyon ends up on Koizumi's futon. Instead of sleeping they sit in the dark together in a not-quite-awkward silence.

Koizumi hugs his knees to his chest. "I wonder if things would have been different," he says quietly, not looking at Kyon. "If I were a girl."

"How so?" Kyon turns to face him.

Koizumi's grin is wry but real. "Well, we could have started dating in high school, for one. And who knows? Maybe you would have fallen in love with me."

It's obviously supposed to be a joke, but it doesn't work, because when he says it Kyon feels more like crying than laughing.

He knows what he wants to say. But for a second he doesn't know if it's physically possible to say it. His throat feels choked, his vocal chords unstrung, useless. It takes almost a minute before he can finally force it out:

"Who says I'm not."

Koizumi goes completely still. He seems to be waiting for someone to jump out and yell "surprise."

"You... what?"

Kyon sighs.

"Don't make me say it twice."

Koizumi doesn't say anything more. But very tentatively, as though he's not sure he's not dreaming, he moves his hand across the futon towards Kyon's. Kyon takes it. And he laces their fingers together, too, for good measure.

Well, there are better things in the world than being straight.

END 


End file.
